the conquerer of cyrodiil.

warning!this was not supposed to be open to read! you can if you want, but it is just an outline!

this is the story of my conquest of oblivion. if you didnt know, oblivion is a game in which you make a character and kick the worlds ass, whether it be a giant minotaur, jyggalag, or the lord of oblivion himself, i will extract my revenge!

     now, I’m using an old guy for this story (and i mean old as in almost all daedric quests and the main questline(s) completed) so i dont remember much. and i dont have the computer version, so I’ll have to post pictures that aren’t from my game.

part 1: a thief and his prison.

it all starts out with me making my character, a wood elf named forrest with a knack for bows and stealth. after meeting up with the king, i use a nifty cheat i use to train my stealth up to 40. now with my super sneaky character back in practice, its time to pluck this dungeon clean.

i sneack thru the dungeon, having done so many times before, and take every possible bit of loot from it. i want forrest to have a high combat ability as well, so i up his strength in creation. as an added bonus, he can carry tons of equiptment with him. i get to the part with the king, he dies, i leave and start my quest to become the ruler of the universe!

part 2: a filthy existence

i immidietly head to the imperial city to sell off my stuff. now with a bit of cash on hand, i find myself just short of a house. since i like to do things the hard way, I wanted to get to the theives guild via jail cell rather than beggar. so, naturally, i brake into slash n, smash while it’s closed.

turns out going to jail is hard. i was just about loaded down with stolen goods when i decided to try to pickpocket a guard. one jail sentence and liberation of my stolen property later, i was set for a career in theiving.

the two challengers i faced for entry were pathetic. with newfound entry to the guild, i sold off my stolen goods for more cash. i was now the proud owner of a rickety house that could store an infinite amount of goods. i head up to burma, picking a few fights with bandits along the way, and start stealing like an insane bastard.

by the time i had gone thru a few thieves guild quests and stolen some more, i was set to start my adventure. now with a better house, 9930 gold on hand, and a decent weapon loadout, i left to counquer the world. time to take out some unfriendly compitition.

part 3: rependance

the knights of the nine quest, for those uninformed, is a quest in which you become a holy warrior, collect crusader armor, and cast down umaril, basically an angel who lost all his feathers.

rather than slogging out the entire questline for you, i will make this long story short: i found some sweet duds, a new sword, some awsome new powers, and got rid of all my infamy. so far, i have repended his thievious lifestyle well!

    now was my first chance to gain some ground: defeating umaril the unfeathered. me and my battalion of eight others charged valiantly into battle, awaiting what was inside. with my healing power and their blades, umarils allies faced a swift death. now i was on to, as sheogorath would call it, the meat of the endeavor!

as i got ready to face of against umaril, i turned on the final countdown as music for my first epic boss battle. umaril was a push over, no suprise since i had armor and weapons from a dude who killed of a liegon of demons (penial whitestreak, if i remember correctly) alone.

part 4:enter oblivion

    ok, i had epic armor and weapons, a decent level, large amounts of money, and enough potions to be called a hypocondriac. it was time I knocked another target of my list: lord dagon, ruler of oblivion. the question is, how do you take on a being that can destroy you with one blow? with giant wierd birds and amulets, thats what!

   without giving to much of the story away, i entered oblivion several times, went thru an insane mans paradise (not really, thats the shivering isles) and deactivated a giant monsterous weapon of siege. finally i got my chance to take down dagon himself.

    that fight was horrible. i didnt know what to do, so i took my sword and pounded on him for at least 30 min, all while his minions overwhelmed me. then, i got martin (the whiny kid thats s’posed to be emporor) to… well, let’s just say it was dragon vs. dagon. i forgot to say this, but dagons first name is mehrunes. that sound like what some chinese kid would say on runescape!

  part 5: the madgod’s blessing

    at this i decided to enter the shivering isles, a strange world of the mentally insane and artistically creative. my first  challenge? beat a giant bastard who had a friggin’ giant sword for a hand. aptly named “the gatekeeper”, this giant abomination dwarfed me by about 6 feet. the residence of the town offered me help to bring this beast down, but i refused. there can only be one.

   now i regret refusing there help, this guy was tough. he regenerated health almost as fast as i could bring it down, and one hit from his sword sent me flying. but then, i remembered my abilities from knights of the nine. i used my blessing of the eight and beat his ugly, deformed face in. i then started to do a humping dance on his corpse, when a strange old lady walked up and said “how could you do this, you killed my baby! (excessive crying)”     aw well. i wouldnt have done it if it wasnt for story progression.

     later, i traveled to sheogoraths palace, a delightfully madman who ended up being a daedric prince. obviously, I hadnt learned my lesson about imortal gods as i prodded my host with my sword. he yelled in that awsome voice of his, “ya really shouldnt have done that! enjoy the view, B****!” this was seconds before i was teleported over the isles and fell to my death.

     i’ll take care of him later, but for now i had a mission. on this mission, i met many strange people, such as big head, the lizard man in love with forks, fimion, a beggar who gave me his magical hobo pants for a sweetroll,  rashar, a person overly protective of his flirtous wife (whos tombstone reads: one crazy son of a bitch) and this one guy i forgot, a retired assassain whos the only black guy in new sheoth. oh, and a few ghosts like: one thats married to a doll, another who counts exssesively, and yet another that is overly protective about 5 arrows i need to steal. and, while i might have got the names wrong, i didnt make these names up.

    after doing all of sheogoraths chores and helping remake the gatekeeper, somthing peculiar happens: sheogorath turns into jyggalag, an evil(?) lord of order. after going thru scores of his minions, i face the mighty form himself. using this giant sword i found made out of madness ore, i disconnected his head from his shoulders. jyggalag lay dead. and, as a bonus, sheogoraths dead too!

   then, his giant head popped up right in front of me. this alone scared me shitless, and i don’t scare easily. after changing my pants, he gave a long speach on how i had become the prince of madness. so, lets go thru my checklist:

defeated: +jyggalag, +sheogorath, +the king, +the kings heir, +friggin mehrunes dagon, +powerful lich #1(owns a forgotten city), -high chancellor ocato,-umbacano (mansion owner), -the listener of the black hand, -the leader of the fighters guild, -the leader of the mages guild, -the grey fox, -the sunken one, -powerful lich #2 (tried to destroy an entire town), – giant minoutaur

and now the positions i’ve gained: +prince of madness, +daedric prince, +champion of cyrodiil, +crusader knight of the nine,  -master of fighters guild, -master of mages guild,-grey fox, – listener of dark brotherhood, -ruler of the universe.

part 6: the grey fox (the easy way)

coming soon!